The Three R's in Response to the Riots

This frightening picture of a Polish woman jumping
from a burning building in Croydon during
recent rioting was in many newspapers.

If you live in the UK you have probably heard about the riots.  If you live outside the UK you may have done so, too.  It's pretty scary and all the more so because there is no real reason for them.  However, the reality is that the looting has not been all that widespread, so far.  A lot of fear has been spread by rumours of looting and possibly by some parts of the media exaggerating what is actually happening.  The unexplained nature of the looting and the fact that it hasn't all happened in the obvious inner city areas makes the rumours more plausible.

Commentators have come up with a mixture reasons for the looting and the cause is far from clear. For some while we have been told that Britain is broken. Attempts at diagnosing the problem and finding a solution seem to have failed so far. If British society really is broken then I think it is high time we had a national debate about how to mend our society, so I would like to suggest that rather than tinkering with superficial things we need to go back to the fundamentals, and I don't mean insisting that single mothers should be frowned upon or that corporal punishment should be re-introduced in schools.

My suggestion is that we need to put much more emphasis on the three R's: Respect, Relationship and Responsibility.

Respect is a two way process and has to be earned. We cannot insist that younger people respect us if we show them no respect. We cannot insist that people should respect us because of the relationship we wear or the position we hold if we treat them with contempt or act in ways that don't earn respect.

Self-respect is important, too. People with self-respect are much less likely to go looting or behave in other anti-social ways. People with self-respect are much more likely to respect other people. Therefore it would greatly benefit our society if we learn to foster each other's self-respect and to avoid damaging it.

Working for a living wage and being able to support yourself and your family helps restore self-respect. While I believe in the importance of the welfare state and supporting those who have the misfortune of being unemployed and unable to support themselves, perhaps we do need to consider ways to help those people for whom the world of work is unfamiliar.

Single mothers need moral as well as financial support and should not be given a bad name, but rather helped to gain self-respect. In fact we need to find ways to help young women develop enough self-respect to say 'no' to sex when they don't really want it and not to feel so dependent on men for their sense of self-worth.

At the same time some men need help to find ways of feeling good about themselves that don't involve exerting power over women or anyone else.

Relationship is the basis for society. We cannot respect people we don't know. We don't feel responsible for strangers and we feel little compassion for people who seem remote from us. It is fundamental for parents to have a good relationship with their children, but it is also important for employers to have good relationships with their employees, the police to have a good working relationship with the local community and neighbours to foster good relationships with each other.

Responsibility is the other side of rights. All rights have corresponding responsibilities.

Employees have certain rights but they also have the responsibility to work to the best of their ability.

Employers have to accept responsibility for poor family relations if they don't pay a living wage or expect their employees to work long hours. People who are worn out by working long hours to make a living wage or who are hardly home long enough to see their children won't make good parents. I suggest that parents who choose to work long hours when they can be comfortably off working less hours are not showing proper responsibility for their duty of care to their children, but I appreciate such parents are the minority. Many people have no choice of job if they want to keep their family well looked after. People who are treated badly and paid poorly by employers will not feel valued and their self-respect will be lowered as a result.

The unemployed, while being entitled to benefits have a responsibility to look for work and to take any employment they are offered if they are capable of doing it and it is legal. I understand that the process of looking for work can be demoralising, I was unemployed for six months myself, once, and I have spoken with many long-term unemployed people in the past. I think government schemes to encourage people back into employment should offer practical help and not too many reprisals. However, it appears some people are so used to living on benefits that they lack the motivation to find work, but I would have thought they are very much the majority.  Perhaps benefits should be earned by work in and for the local community doing things that wouldn't be done otherwise, in a way that increases unemployed people's self-worth and sense of purpose.

Parents have responsibilities towards their children.  While I agree it is a good thing that women are now treated on a more equal footing in the workplace, this means that parents need to decide how the children will be properly cared for, which one of them will stay at home in their early years and who will be there at the school gate, not too exhausted to listen to them and give guidance and discipline when it's needed.

Equally we need to get across the message that it is the responsibility of young men and women to avoid unwanted pregnancies and the spread of disease if they decide to have sex.  Sex education in school is not entirely successful, so we need to explore other ways to get the message across and helping people take more responsibility in this area of their lives.

There has been much talk recently of the British police force policing with consent, but we have also heard of recent incidents of a heavy handed approach by some individual police officers. Policemen and women have to take responsibility for their actions. Consistently treating certain groups of people with a lack of respect and exercising undue force will mean that relationships between you and that group of people will deteriorate and it won't just be you, but also your colleagues who will be seen as behaving in this way. Just as some police officers may see all black youths as possible criminals, some black youths may well see all police personnel as heaving handed and therefore consider them “the enemy”. It is important that people in authority are not judgmental and learn to reduce rather than increase conflict and violence by the ways they act and speak.

Politicians and the media also have to take responsibility for the way they talk about certain groups in society. Calling anyone “scum” shows a definite lack of respect. Whipping up hatred, anger, fear and resentment shows a great deal of irresponsibility and suggests a certain amount of immaturity.

Our government has to remember its responsibilities at home rather than rushing out to get involved in other people's wars.  I'm not advocating that either we or our government ignore the starving and the destitute in other part's of the world, but getting involved in other people's wars rarely, if ever, has a positive outcome for us or the other people and it's so easy to back the wrong people who turn out to be worse than the last regime.

What can we do, as individual members of our society, to get the message across to our government that we want better job prospects for all, better education, policing and healthcare rather than bombs being dropped and bullets being fired in our name?

Advertisers also need to be more responsible and stop making outlandish claims for their products that cause suggestible people to believe that their self-worth lies not in themselves but in a pair of designer trainers or the latest technology.

Rebuilding Britain one piece at a time!

We can't rely on politicians to make the necessary changes, it has to come from each of us.  You and I must take responsibility for starting the process; to improve relationships in our families, in our neighbourhoods, in our towns,  in our country and, where necessary, change ourselves.  We must each of us learn to be more compassionate, more respectful, more responsible and to improve our relationships by getting to know the people around us better and being more considerate of their needs (always balanced by our own needs, of course).

Can we make Britain a responsible and respectful nation built on compassion and good relationships? What do you think? Is this the way forward? If so, how can we spread the word? Do you have a better suggestion?

Norway's tragedy, a tragedy for us all

I've only recently come back from holiday, but the bomb and shootings in Norway and the reaction to them seem to require some comment.

It seems that the headline 'Al-Qaeda' Massacre: Norway's 9/11 appeared in yesterday's Sun newspaper referring to the tragedy.  On Facebook Billy Bragg suggested that this was a good reason not to buy the Sun.  It certainly strikes me as irresponsible reporting.

The dreadful tragedy could perhaps be compared with 9/11 as it was so unexpected and so unimaginably horrific, but only in that respect.  I can see absolutely no reason to justify calling it an 'Al-Qaeda' massacre as it had nothing to do with this group.

The massacre was carried out by a lone 'Christian' fundamentalist with extreme right wing political views.

I presume, and certainly hope, that others who hold his religious and political views would not see any justification for killing so many people.  However, extremists have a tendency to use extreme language and extreme language can cause susceptible people to commit acts others only imagine and talk about.

'Christian' fundamentalists and people with extreme political views can use violent language and talk as if some people are less than human, not deserving their respect and perhaps begrudging them the soil they stand on and the air that they breath.  Religious extremists can believe that God is so displeased with some people he will punish them severely.  When such religious and political views mix they can result in a very dangerous cocktail of ideas.

This is why we all need to think carefully of the messages we are sending, of our attitudes to other people and the words that we use.  Christians talk of sin and Buddhists talk of the seeds of violence and other undesirable traits that lie within us.

Perhaps now is a good time to reflect on the seeds of hate and violence within us and consider what might cause them and at the same time to water the seeds of love, compassion and peace within us and the people around us.

Logo designed by Elena Jacobs, University of Alberta student.
The world is superimposed on an apple, the traditional 
symbol of education, where seeds of peace are cultivated
and hopefully come to fruition.

We cannot be held responsible for the deaths in Norway, but it is the attitudes in society in general that can lead to such acts.  Religious fundamentalist and those with extreme views of any sort need to think very carefully about how their words and attitudes could be construed by others.

This tragic incident also shows us that it isn't only Islamic fundamentalists who can carry out such horrific acts.  It also gives us reason to consider, if all Muslims are potential terrorists, does that make all Christians potential mass murders?  If not, could it be that we need to realise that among the Muslims of the world there are many decent people just like us who would never dream of carrying out such an atrocious act.

A Day to Make Peace?

The world did not change for me on 11th September 2001, I am very glad to say, but I know many people felt it did change. Those who lost loved ones in such dreadful circumstances on that day will have been engulfed in grief and for some of those their lives will have been completely shattered.  Many people who were not directly affected still stopped feeling safe as they went about their daily lives.  Peace-loving, law-abiding Muslims suddenly came under suspicion of being a terrorist.

Fear and misunderstanding breed hatred and even violence as a certain pastor from Florida, and the response to his threat to burn the Koran by some Muslims, have shown.  It transpires that his threat was an attempt to force a group of Muslims to change their plans and build their Islamic Centre further from 'Ground Zero', the spot where the 'twin towers' used to be before terrorists flew planes into them and destroyed them.  His tactic could be described as bullying or blackmail.  He seems to feel very threatened by the plan to build this Islamic Study Centre and is doing everything in his power to stop it.  However, we have already seen how this attempt to force others to do things your way can escalate into more and more violence as there have been already been riots in Afghanistan and people chanting 'death to America' and this sort of thing can spread like wildfire thanks to modern communications systems.  Trying to coerce others is not a way to promote peace.

So perhaps 11th September is a good day to do something to make this world a bit more peaceful, or even to begin to work for peace more long-term.

Should we buy a Koran (Quran)  today to show Muslims worldwide that many Westerner 'infidel' do have respect for it?  Would it be better still if we started to read it, or read about it and Islam to find out what Muslims believe?  We would do well to remember that Islam, like Christianity has more than one expression and this can depend on the social culture prevalent in the different countries where Muslims are living.

If you know anyone who is a Muslim find out what they believe, but gently.  Don't give them the third degree.  Be prepared to listen to them explain what they believe and why, even if you don't agree.  Perhaps, when you understand their reasons you can help them to see things from a different perspective.


If you are a Muslim, try to find out more about Christianity.

If we want to foster peace in the world it is important to show respect for what other people hold dear, even if it is something you strongly disapprove of.  With gentle questioning you may discover why they think something is right and necessary even though you believe it to be very wrong.  This may give you new insights that help you see the matter differently.

Remember that religious faith along with non-religious spirituality, is closely tied up with a person's identity and view of the world, if you try to undermine that they will feel under attack in some way.  If you were to destroy someone's faith you will destroy the foundation of their life and that could have dire consequences for them and others.

Whoever you speak to, remember they won't represent everyone from within that religion.

While all the world's major religions advocate peace, people's perception is increasingly that religion is a cause of violence. Greater understanding decreases suspicion and increases friendship.

I believe I have a copy of 'Islam, a very short introduction' somewhere, so I shall track it down and start reading it this weekend, what will you do?

Interview with 'No Impact Man'

I've just heard an interview with 'No Impact Man' aka Colin Beavan on You and Yours.  It lasted about 10 minutes and Colin came across as just as thoughtful as he did in his book.

The interview was intended to promote the fact that the film 'No Impact Man' is now being screened at selected cinemas around the UK.  I felt Peter White didn't make this as clear as he could have done, though.

You can listen here.

(Jewish) New Year, New Start

Happy New Year to you, if you are Jewish.  If you are not Jewish, then you might like to know that today is the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah.

I found that out when listening to Good Morning Sunday at the weekend.  One of the guests was Rabbi Pete Tobias, who explained that originally the new year was the time when the Jewish community apologised to God, as he put it, so he wouldn't be angry with them, because they wanted him to bless their harvest and the new crops they were sowing and planting for the year ahead.

Traditionally the word the Bible uses rather than apologise, is repent, which I've been told means to change direction.

It seems to me that now would be a good time for all of us, whether Jew, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, Atheist or whatever to repent of all the things we're doing to upset the balance of our beautiful, life-sustaining planet and change direction to a new way of doing things that means we tread much more lightly on the Earth and do what we can to avoid harming others.

Something I read this morning could help us to change the way we think about the food we eat:

'We have to look deeply to see how we grow our food, so we can eat in ways that preserve our collective well-being, minimize our suffering and the suffering of other species, and allow the earth to continue to be a source of life for all of us.  If, while we eat, we destroy living beings or the environment, we are eating the flesh of our own sons and daughters*.  We need to look deeply together and discuss how to eat, what to eat and what to resist."

* This is a reference to an allegorical story the Buddha is said to have told, known as 'Discourse on the Son's Flesh'. The meaning is that we are thoughtlessly consuming our children's future, or at least the resources they will need to live well, and maybe to live at all.

From 'The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching' by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Brighten up the World with a Smile

Here's a very easy idea that will cost you very little and will instantly make the world a better place: smile.

I'm not suggesting that you get yourself arrested grinning inanely at every passer-by, nor that you pretend you are happy when you are not, but when you greet someone, give them a genuine, friendly smile to make them feel they count and somebody cares about them. Smiling will make you feel better and cheer up the person you smile at. Smiles can be infectious, too, soon everybody could be smiling just because of your one smile.

“If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. If we really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The source of a true smile is an awakened mind.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, 'Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life'